Retrieve the Kraken!

O.o Um. Okay, the first of my one-shots. This one is a little different for me. And it is an example of the most betas I have requested to help me. Ever. Because I am fairly fretful about it. Every beta I went through, I changed something kind of big. It was very interesting. And now of course, I am back to being disconcerted and nervous. *is a bundle of nerves*

Title: Aftermath
Author: me
Pairing: H/D
Rating: R
WARNING: past non-con
Summary: Post-war. Healing takes time, but Harry is determined.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Also, there's slash in this, big surprise.

The most thanks I can give to lilysunshine1, silver_ariel, jexay, and fireelemental79 for putting up with my fretting, my random questions at all hours, my nail-biting, and my story. You guys helped me so much on this one, in so many different ways. THANK YOU.

And we begin, nine months after.

*

It was shadowy and silent when Harry let himself through the wards and the front door. The house was filled with cool air. He pulled off his shoes and socks in the hallway and relished the feel of the plush carpet between his toes. Breathing in deeply, Harry closed his eyes, recognizing all the smells of his home with a level of yearning that surprised him. Mint and cardamom from the kitchen. A clean soapy smell that reminded him of the Burrow during the summer. Beeswax candles. Draco.

Harry gave a cleansing sigh and locked up all the wards, making his way through the darkened rooms. He set his bag down in the living room, then walked through the hall and started up the stairs. They creaked reassuringly under his feet. He reached the top in relative silence and made his way down the hall. His chest went a little hollow as he came to the half-closed bedroom door and he hesitated outside in the dark, wondering what he was going to find.

Gently he pushed the door open. The room was a faint kaleidoscope of deep, blue light from the curtained windows. Harry stood in the doorway letting his eyes adjust. Draco lay in bed on his back, the sheet half covering his bare chest. His head was turned to the side against the pillow, short locks of blond hair settled haphazardly behind him. One arm was up against the bedclothes, fingers slightly curled, and Harry took a moment to watch the shadows play over the smooth, pale skin of his forearm.

Soft, regular breathing told him Draco was asleep. Harry sighed and closed his eyes. He looked restful, and for that Harry was glad. He took off his coat and hung it over the door, searching about in one pocket. When he found his wand, he turned back to the bed.

"Visus Nocturnum Revelare," he whispered.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then tiny pinpricks of light began winking into view over Draco's head. They spun and whirled silently, bathing the sleeper's face in gentle lilac. Harry banished the spell and performed it again just to be sure, but the red mist he expected never appeared. Just gentle, cerulean dancing lights. Something loosened in his chest. He sighed and the spell winked out.

For a long time Harry just stood there watching and thinking. He'd meant to do this earlier, before he left, but he'd been too frightened to chance it. Harry had half a mind to forget about it again while the shadows still waxed long, to put it off for another day, another week. But it would only be harder as time went on. Draco seldom had nights without the red mist; this was rare, and Harry suddenly found himself unprepared for the magnitude of it. At least Draco was comfortable with the intimacy now. He'd always been fully awake, however, when Harry first touched him. But Harry knew eventually it might happen when he himself was asleep and he would never forgive himself if he—

Draco shifted slightly in his sleep, breaking Harry from his anxious stupor. Quietly, the dark haired man unbuttoned his shirt, shrugging it off, shedding his trousers and underclothes. He placed everything carefully on one of the chairs against the wall, taking his time until he could no longer convince himself to linger, and went to the side of the bed. He sitting down on the edge. Draco did not stir. Harry set his wand on the bedside table and opened the top drawer, removing a condom. He looked at Draco a moment longer before reaching out and touching his palm softly. He ran his fingers up over his wrist, stroking the soft skin, tracing to his shoulder. Lifting the sheet, Harry slid into bed and lay stomach down beside Draco, his head on his steadily rising and falling chest. Draco breathed in deeply through his nose and his arm came up, encircling Harry's back, fingers light as snow over his skin. Harry slipped his arm around Draco's body and pulled himself closer until the other man's heat pulsed against his skin.

The hush pervaded, and Harry was loathe to break it. He waited a moment just breathing in the sweet, clean scent of Draco's skin as he slept, feeling every line of the body against his. Then slowly - very slowly - he raised himself and moved his body closer to Draco's. He only meant to rest his torso on the other man's, suddenly stricken into stillness by how his lover would react, but Draco shifted, giving a tiny sniff as he slept, and parted his legs, bringing Harry's body closer than he'd intended. Harry blinked away his surprise and stretched out over Draco's lightly breathing form, feeling a slow, warm stream of comfort. He liked the way their hips fit together, like a lock and key, the way Draco's body moved to complete the fit even in his sleep.

For a long moment Harry lay there, reaching fingers to stroke the feather-soft hair around Draco's face, caressing one unhurried hand over the lines of Draco's side and chest as the blond slowly woke. When his eyelids fluttered, Harry licked his lips and drew a breath, touching Draco's cheek.

"Draco," he whispered. The blond made a soft, breathy sound and turned his head, the arm around Harry's back slipping down a bit. Harry whispered his name again, this time accompanying it with a gentle slide of fingers over Draco's chest. The other man's breathing hitched once and Harry felt him harden against his body. He waited for a second, still stroking Draco's chest with one hand. Then he shifted just a bit, bringing his mouth closer to his lover's ear, and raised his voice. "Draco."

The blond's body squirmed a bit under Harry's, sparking uneasiness in his chest until Draco's hips gave a slight shiver and thrust minutely against him. The man's eyes opened slowly, revealing deep, dark gray. He gazed at Harry steadily. Harry looked right back, and then thrust forward delicately.

After a moment, Draco moved to match him.

Harry's eyes never left his partner's quiet stare. He slicked his fingers with a whispered word and moved his hand slowly down Draco's body until he found the curve of his waist, the crease where leg joined hip, and finally, his entrance. He prepared the blond carefully, moving his hips against him in light, unhurried strokes. Draco's left hand came up to join the other on Harry's back, where they rested, tensing subtly against his skin.

All at once, Draco's eyes went a deeper gray. Harry removed his fingers and slipped the condom on, sliding his hands up Draco's side, across his arms, raising them above his head. He wove his fingers with the other man's and entered Draco's body in the next slow thrust. Draco's mouth dropped open into a slack "O", breath escaping in a tiny outward gasp.

Harry moved with the same long, careful movements, but deeply, burying himself in Draco's body in lingering sensual waves. Each thrust was returned with a small roll of Draco's hips, his mouth open, legs bending and lifting to curl around Harry's thighs. The grey eyes never closed, but remained fixed on Harry, thin chest rising suddenly and falling in time to their movements. Harry moved again inside Draco's body, lipping his chest with an open-mouthed tongueless kiss. Draco's breath huffed out with each upward stroke, body tensing and relaxing.

Draco was so quiet, only allowing a sigh to escape with each thrust. Harry wished yet again for a word, a noise, a cry. His name. Something other than the hushed gasps in the silence. His chest ached with a familiar, dull pain. He wondered if Draco had been a vocal lover before.

Harry sped his movements up a tiny bit, pushing into Draco's body, savoring each answering thrust. He kissed Draco's mouth briefly, feeling the soft heat of his lips, the light flick of his tongue before pulling back again. With the next movement of his hips, he repeated the gesture, and Draco's breath filled his mouth. Harry let one hand drift down to touch the blond's flagging length, pulling gently in time to his thrusts. Draco hissed, kissed Harry this time, and began to arch with each movement. Harry pushed deeper, deeper, mouthing Draco's throat, breathing hard with the effort, feeling his lover's heartbeat quicken against his fingers where they touched his wrist. He knew by the hitching in Draco's gasps that he was close.

Still Harry went slowly, opting for thoroughness instead of speed, feeling himself touch that place inside Draco again and again with each measured thrust. He felt his own orgasm rising up like smoke. He almost knew before he moved the next time that it would be the one that sent Draco over. The blond's mouth widened and he arched agonizingly beneath Harry, head falling back, hair tumbling into his still open eyes. His body clenched completely as he came, filling Harry's hand with a sudden warmth. He fell back to the bed, seeking air in quick breaths. Harry met his eyes, giving him as long as he possibly could before thrusting again, again, watching Draco's body ride up beneath him on the sheets, seeing the rounded pink flush of his lips, thrusting once more, deeper than anything before, and coming. Draco made the only real sound then, a tiny desperate murmur that seemed to burst from him in a gasp. Harry collapsed against him as carefully as he could, laying his head on the still-rapidly rising chest beneath him.

For a long, quiet moment filled with slowing breaths, they rested there. Harry felt for Draco's warmth with his numbed senses and found it all around him, sweat-slicked against his chest, pulsing in legs still looped around his own. He sighed and kissed Draco's throat, then raised his head to look at his lover.

Draco's mouth was closed again, grey eyes once more fixed on his. A long-fingered hand came up and carded through his hair, making his scalp tingle. Draco smiled faintly. "Missed you."

Harry took Draco's hand in his and laid his fingers against his lips. "Missed you, too."

"I could tell."

Harry smiled at him and stretched forward, meeting Draco's mouth with his. The kiss was slow, thorough, and intense. Harry felt Draco's heartbeat quicken slightly before dropping away again.

He looked down at the pale face below his and saw things he hadn't noticed before in the darkness. Light grey flecks in dark irises, coming back into his eyes. Indentations on his lower lip as if he'd been biting it for some time. The near-invisible fuzz of blond hair on his cheeks. A gradual darkened smudge under his eyes.

Harry touched one cheek with his hand, brushing the silvery hair back over Draco's temples. "You look like you haven't been sleeping."

Draco's eyes brightened briefly and subsided. His tongue came out to wet his lips but his gaze never left Harry's. "I had a nightmare."

Harry searched his face carefully, still stroking his skin. "When?"

"Tonight."

Harry blinked slowly, and then felt his stomach clench. Shame and horror flashed through him in a hot wave and he pulled back. He knew he'd done the spell correctly, knew Draco had not been dreaming of horrors when he'd cast it, but had he waited too long? Draco's grey eyes locked on his beneath him and Harry suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. "God—"

Abruptly Draco's head was shaking, his hands holding Harry's face between them. "No. No, no, Harry, I knew it was you the second you touched me."

Harry stilled, feeling his body roil with hateful self-loathing. Draco continued to shake his head, caressing his face with gentle hands. A soft smile turned his lips upward and Harry began to relax, still disbelieving.

With a sigh, he raised up away from Draco, intending to ease himself out of the blond's body. But Draco's hands tightened around his back and waist, stilling his movements. Harry looked down, concern weaving through him.

The other man's gaze was luminescent in the dim light. "Stay."

Harry stared at him for a long moment, and Draco nodded, giving vent to a small shuddering sigh. Carefully, Harry lowered himself back onto the other man until he was sprawled across him. Draco's fingers drifted into his hair in slow, lazy strokes. Harry felt lips on the top of his head. He tightened his grip around Draco and felt his lover sigh again contentedly.

* * *

A reedy shrieking woke Harry with a jerk. He blinked rapidly for a moment, trying to figure out what the noise was, then sighed and scrabbled for his wand where it lay on the table beside the bed. As soon as his fingers touched it, the sound cut itself off. The silence left in its wake seemed to ring through the room.

He felt Draco shift behind him. The slender arm that had been resting so naturally around his waist slid up to his chest, reminding Harry of its presence. Draco's body eased tighter against his back, filling him with a warm tingling flush.

"Don't go," Draco said in soft, sleepy tones, nuzzling his face just behind Harry's ear. His breaths ruffled the hair against his neck. Harry sighed, smiling, and shut his eyes, allowing himself a few scant seconds of false rest. He ran his fingers over the smooth skin of Draco's arm and drifted, held up by the warmth of his lover's body.

But at last his sense of duty got the better of him and he opened his eyes, patting the hand lying flat against his chest. "Have to go to work."

He sat up and Draco's arm tensed for a shivery moment as if he meant to hold him there, before going limp. Harry eased himself out of the embrace and stood, stretching. He smiled at Draco's expressionless face briefly before pulling boxers and a shirt on. Picking up his wand and muttering several cleansing spells over his body and hair, Harry headed for the closet. He dressed quickly, deciding on wearing a tie, then going without it, then wearing it again, and finally leaving it hanging on the closet door and walking back to the bed. Draco lay nestled in the bedclothes, eyes heavy lidded and watchful, ash-colored irises following Harry's every move. He bent and gave Draco a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, running his fingers once through his silky hair.

"Try to get some rest."

Draco's answer was a weak smile. Harry smiled back, letting his fingers linger against the other man's cheek for a moment before picking up his coat and leaving the room. Halfway down the hall, he convinced himself yet again that he needed the blasted tie and turned back to the bedroom. Just in the doorway, he stopped short.

Draco was raised on one elbow in the bed, not looking toward the door. Harry watched as the blond's hand moved slowly outward until it touched Harry's pillow. Draco bent his head until his nose rested against the pillow and closed his eyes. Harry heard the slow, deep intake of breath. For a moment Draco remained quite still, face quietly vacant. Then he curled his arms around the pillow, settling into it and hugging it to him. His shoulders rose and fell once.

Harry swallowed, not quite certain what to make of it. He turned in silence and moved downstairs to the kitchen, his mind oddly blank. Filling a coffee mug with his wand, he sat at the table and stared at the newspaper, not really understanding the words. He kept seeing Draco's arms wrapping around his pillow, kept hearing that deep breath and the trembling sigh that followed. The image lingered in his mind, pricking him. His chest tightened.

Before his coffee had gone cold, Harry got up and left his coat draped over the chair. Instead of heading for the front door, he climbed the stairs and padded back down the hallway into the darkened bedroom. Draco was already dozing again, his fingers clutching Harry's pillow. Harry saw the slightest of shivers ripple through his frame. He watched intently, worry stirring inside him. Draco's face spasmed once, and then more violently, and his entire body hitched. His fingers clenched and released, and his mouth tightened in a grimace. Draco's form began to curl in on itself in tiny, frightened jerks. The breath caught in Harry's throat.

It was an old wound, the ache building inside him, but it hurt him more every time he felt it. Harry moved quickly across the room, sat on the bed and leaned over, touching Draco's bare shoulder and easing him into his arms. Draco woke with a start, eyes wide and bright with fear. He jerked away violently, words spilling from him in a frenzied slur. "No, no, don't—"

Harry closed his eyes briefly and quieted Draco with light fingers on his chin. Draco still tried to pull away, clutching at the sheets, and the sorrow burst within Harry, followed by the familiar rush of impotent anger toward those responsible. The blond's eyes unclouded, the fear in them receding so slowly Harry could not help but cringe under it, even though he knew it wasn't meant for him.

He worked at soothing Draco's heaving breaths, stroking his damp chest and whispering soft syllables as his lover quieted. Draco looked at him silently, sadness and something akin to shame in his eyes. Harry shook his head and gathered the other man to him, kissing his temple and caressing his hair. Draco lay rigid for one last second, then let out a small helpless sound and wrapped himself around Harry. Harry drew his feet onto the bed and pulled the blanket over them both. He watched the play of morning light on the ceiling, thinking maybe the dancing prisms looked a little different today. But holding Draco now, he couldn't be sure. He gave the thought a little more space, then let it go with a heavy sigh.

Draco's arms tightened around him, and Harry looked down in time to see the pale shoulders relax just a touch. He waited for them to tense again but they did not. Draco's shallow breathing was the only sound, and it was even again. Peaceful.

Harry went back to watching the light. It flickered and gradually began to brighten.

...

Ch. 2: The Thing Harry is Not Proud Of

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Thanks for readin'.